The Serf Nuts
By Anthony L. Kelly Sr.

“Let’s call each other Ninjas instead of Niggas,”
said Howard.
Carlos Ramón and Howard Hensley were two blood
brothers of the same gang, The Serf Nuts. The word
Serf means enslaved laborer. Howard, being the more
intellectual of the two, really found pleasure in
finding out the meaning of words, and naming things.
Every chance he had he’d substitute common words with
uncommon or seldom heard of words. He’d named the
two-manned gang earlier in the day.
“What the hell--Ninjas--Serf Nuts?” Carlos
complained.
“It just sounds different that’s all. Besides, that
other word is so played out,” said Howard.
“Whatever man,” Carlos said. “If you think that’s
going to catch on I think you must be smokin’
somethin.’”
As the two continue on that midday, they encountered
a dog. It was a white Beagle, but different from the
normal kind. The pup resembled Snoopy from the much
acclaimed cartoon, Charlie Brown and Peanuts. It
literally was a living colorful drawing of a dog.
“What kind of dog is that?” asked Carlos. “That dog
looks like a damn cartoon. I ain’t never seen nothing
like that,” he added.
The charismatic dog not only resembled Snoopy, it
acted as if it were him as well.
“Hey pup, where did you come from?” said Howard as he
approached the colorful animal with caution.
“Man, you better stay away from that weird dog,”
warned Carlos.
With one stroke of Howard’s hand to the top of the
dog’s head, the two boys were transported to A
Different World. There was Denise, Dwayne Wayne,
Freddy and everyone else from the cast.
“Ninja! What the hell did you do?” ask Carlos.
“What do you mean, ‘What did I do?’ I just touched
the dog on the head. The next thing I know, we
standin’ in the lobby at Hillman.”
“Now that is some crazy stuff,” said Carlos.
As panic set in, Carlos asked, “So how do we get
back?”
“I don’t know, maybe I need to rub his head again.
Where did he go?” asked Howard.
“Look's like he’s over there--standing next to
Whitley,” Carlos pointed.
The two boys began walking when they noticed each
others heads. They were bobbing up and down, side to
side, while their feet and legs were moving in a
cartoonish motion. Before anything was said, somewhere
The Peanuts music began to play.
“Man what in the hell is going on?” shouted Carlos.
The two boys looked at each other only to notice that
they had some how been transformed into two Cartoon
Ninjas. Dressed in all black from head to toe.
“See--I told you not to mess with that dog. Now look
at us,” said Carlos. “We look like two fake behind
ninja suit wearin’, South Park wanna bees. I told you
not to touch that damn dog!”
“Look man, I’m sorry, but something tells me that
this was supposed to happen,” Howard insisted.
“What do you mean it was supposed to happen? We were
just messin’ around,” said Carlos.
“All I’m sayin’ is that I wasn’t the one that wanted
to form a gang in the first place. That was your
idea,” Howard reminded him.
“Yeah, but you was cool with naming it, and callin’
ourselves Ninja’s instead of the other word.”
The boys argued on as they bobbled along on the set
of A Different World.
When they reached Whitley and the dog, a beautiful
green light engulfed them. It came from a wand that
was being held by Ms. Gilbert.
But she was no longer Whitley Gilbert the college
student. She was now dressed like Glenda the Good
Witch from the Wizard of OZ.
In a soft southern tone she said, “You boys have
stumbled into the Land of The Forgotten Light. Here
you’ll find two things that will change the course of
The Forgotten Man forever.”
“How did we get here?” asked Howard.
After a slight giggle she said, “Baby you’re not
there yet, but you will be if you continue to change
your word usage. By changing negative words to
positive words, you two boys will change the world.
Words that have contributed to the downfall of many
tribes. We must realize that words have power. They
can build you up or break you down.”
“So you mean to tell me that our words can affect
us?” asked Carlos.
“Yes, that is exactly what I’m saying young prophet.”

“Ooh. I see. It’s making sense now,” said Howard. “I
chose the name Serf Nuts for our gang because to me it
stands for slavery and the oppressed. My Grandfather
five generations back was a slave. And Carlos’
Grandmother works all day for hardly nothing. The word
nut means hard fruit or plant. I think that we as
Blood Brothers have only had the opportunity to show
our hard side, but there is a fruit on the inside,”
said Howard.
“You have chosen a smart friend Mr. Ramón. You are
equally smart. However, your choice of words need
improvement. Now, as I said earlier, you have two very
important things to be done. Your tribes as we know
them are in great danger of being extinct. The first
thing you will find, behind a fine glass of wine, is
that a glass isn’t enough, for a Hippo named
Caroline.”

With that rhyming riddle the beautiful Witch was
gone. Snoopy took off as if he were chasing after an
invisible rabbit.
“We better follow him,” said Howard.
“Why did she call me Mr. Ramón?” asked Carlos as he
trailed close behind.
The two caught up with the pooch in the park. He
stood next to a man that was laying on the ground. The
man appeared to be homeless.
“I don’t think he has what we’re looking for. He’s
just a bum,” said Carlos.
The man coughed, then wheezed, and finally managed to
turn over to face the group. He was an old man with
wisdom etched in his face. With squinted eyes, a smile
gently began to grow between the matted hair that
surrounded his mouth.
LG, you finally decided to come home, huh? I see you
found the boys, too.”
Both Howard and Carlos looked at each other
surprised.
“This your dog?” asked Carlos.
“No. This is LG. He belongs to no one. He comes and
goes just as he pleases, like a breath.”
“Huh?” Carlos said with a peculiar look.
“He means he’s a stray,” said Howard.
“LG’s not a stray. He’s like you two, not even real”
said the man.
“What do you mean we’re not real?” asked Howard.
“Well just take a look at yourself. You look like
cartoons,” said the old man with a small chuckle. “It
must be too much T.V.. Maybe too many video games. Or
maybe even too much of the wrong music. Whatever the
case, you boys are as fake as the new twenty dollar
bills.”
“But sir before we touched the dog--” “We… We didn’t
touch that damn dog. You touched it. Not me!” Carlos
interrupted.
“Touching LG had nothing to do with it. If anything
you two should thank Him,” said the old man as he
began to sit up cross legged.
“Thank him, for what?” asked Carlos.
“That little dog is a part of a great gift that you
two both possess.”
“And what is that exactly?” asked Howard.
“Just look around. Do things seem normal?”
“Hell no things don’t seem normal,” said Carlos. “We
look like cartoons. You look like a broke Bill Cosby,
and we’re following Snoopy around looking for two
things that’s going to somehow save some tribe of
people.”
After the comical rant, the man chuckled, then
disappeared, and reappeared standing behind the two
boys.
As they stood, still facing the spot that he’d
vanished from, a deep voice came from behind.
“Now, as I said before.”
In their two dimensional bodies they turned, causing
a cloud of cartoon dust to rise.
“Cough-cough-cough,” waving away the dust, the man
spoke. “As I said earlier, both of you are special.
You can make a difference. You will make a difference.
Just watch your words and follow the pup.”

“Damn, now where did he go?” asked Carlos.
“I don’t know, but maybe you should watch your mouth
a little more.”
“What do you mean watch my mouth? My grandma don’t
care if I curse. She can’t hear anyways.”
“I don’t know man. I think this place is somehow
affected by the way we think,” said Howard.
“Ok then, ‘I wanna’ go home. I wanna’ go home now.’
Why aint nothin’ happenin’ then?”
Seconds after Carlos said those words, the park in
which they were standing in changed into a jungle. It
was Africa. Surrounded by a pride of Lions, the boy
screamed, “Take me back! Take me back!”
As the hungry Lions began approaching them, both
Carlos and Howard started running backwards. It was as
though they were being controlled by an out dated
video game controller.
“No! Stop! I meant go! Faster!” Poor Carlos had lost
his composure.
Not knowing what else to do, Howard yelled,
“Forward!”
The boys and LG began running straight toward the
group of Lions.
Just before feeling the hot breath and razor sharp
claws of the Lions, The Serf Nuts were somehow lifted
from the ground.
It was LG. Just in the nick of time, he’d somehow
managed to levitate the group off the ground and above
the hungry lions.
“Now do you believe that words have power?” asked
Howard as they hovered to a nearby field filled with
purple flowers.
Still somewhere in Africa, the boys and the pup made
an easy landing.
Minutes after, from behind the bush came a humungous
Hippo. With one eye apparently battered and moving as
slow as cold molasses, she said, “So yall call yall
selves Ninja’s now huh?”
“She sounds exactly like Ms. Sofia, from The Color
Purple, only drunk,” said Howard.
“Yeah. But not the first Ms. Sofia,” Carlos agreed.
“The one that got the hell beat out of her and had to
work for that dumb ole white lady.”
“I get so tired of people comparin’ me to Oprah. Have
you seen her lately? She ain’t been this big in over
twenty years, I’m jealous. My name is Tiny by the way.
I know, I know. How did a big girl like me get the
name Tiny? My dad was a flea. I know, I know. How can
a flea be a hippo’s father? Well, a flea can’t be a
hippo’s father, not biologically that is. But he was
the only father I knew, but that’s a long story.”
Gazing at the two boys she said, “So can yall do
Karate?”
“What?” asked Carlos. “No. We just substituted the
word Ninja for the other word.”
“Ooh. Okay. I see. Well anyways, I’m suppose to tell
yall the first thing in order to save the dying tribe,
village, forgotten man, or whatever it's called. It’s
simple..”
“What’s simple?” asked Carlos.
“Duh… The thing.. It’s simple,” she added.
“Yeah, but what’s the thing?” asked Howard.
“It’s simple,” she said again.
A little peeved, Carlos demanded a better
explanation. “What is so simple?”
“Everything. Life. The wind that blows the leaves. A
smile from a loving mother. The bubbles that tickle
your nose from a cold glass of cola. Yall just need to
remember that whenever you’re in a jam, that life is
so simple. Simple like a pimple, or a dimple you see.
It may arise, or surprise, the magic temple in thee…”

And with those words, Tiny the humungous Hippo was
gone and The Serf Nuts were surfing their way back to
the park in which they’d left the homeless guy.
After another easy landing, Carlos said, “I thought
her name was supposed to be Caroline.”
“It is,” a voice came through. “It’s Tiny Carolina.”
“Okay,” said Carlos. “Now what?” he asked Howard.
“I don’t know,” his friend replied.
“Bark! Bark!” LG was off once again. Rapidly leading
the two through the park.
“Slow down Snoopy,” said Carlos. “You act like you
found a pot of gold or something.”
Stopping hard in front was Howard. An amazing sight
had caused him to lock brakes like an overloaded
eighteen wheeler. Next to his side stood LG. He’d lead
them to a corner wood line that separated the park
from the woods. The green and brown leaves were
glowing with six beautiful colors.
“What the--” said Carlos as he came to a sliding
stop.
At the bottom of a real rainbow was a little man, and
a pot filled with shiny gold coins. The man was a sure
look-a-like for Gary Coleman.
“So you two are The Serf Nuts huh?” he asked.
Like young Rudy from The Cosby Show, looking down at
the pot of gold, with their mouths wide open, they
nodded, “Uh Huh.”
“Whose idea was that?”
Carlos pointed at Howard.
"And referring to yourselves as Ninjas instead of
that other word, whose idea was that?”
Again Carlos pointed to Howard.
“You have a good friend.”
“Uh huh,” Carlos said again.
“Well--I am obligated to tell the last thing,” said
Arnold.
Sensing something was wrong, LG backed away and began
barking, pleading for the two boys to step away. The
rainbow had begun to fade and flicker. Evil images
were flashing through, but greed had overwhelmed
Carlos.
“Carlos he’s not the right one. Back away!” shouted
Howard.
As he continued to gaze into the pot, the gold coins
began to melt. Hot bubbles of liquid metal spat up. A
stench came from the brew.
“Say it Carlos! Say the words Carlos. 'It's simple,'”
yelled Howard as he tugged on his friend’s arm.
While LG barked at the top of his little lungs,
crashing howls came from the pot. The vessel was now a
gateway to the underworld.
“So you are the Serf Nuts… Hah! Hah! Hah!--Ninja‘s
huh!”
The cheery voice from Arnold was gone. He was gone as
well. The voice came from somewhere hidden, but close
by.
“I knew you two couldn’t resist.”
A vacuum like force was pulling at Carlos’ body.
“As I said, I do have the last thing that you search
for.”
“It’s LG!” yelled Carlos. “The voice, it's coming
from him.”
“Stop!” The little dog commanded. With one word
everything ceased. The boys were back in their normal
bodies. LG was now a real animal.
They were back at the same place where everything had
started. At their feet, still talking was LG.
“You see boys, the last thing you must know in order
to save The Forgotten Man is fear.”
“What about greed?” asked Howard.
“Good observation young man. Greed is fear. Fear of
not having enough. Fear of someone else having more
than you. It is very important to share and not be
only for gathering without giving, but when you truly
realize that life is simple, greed, hate, and any
other deadly sin can not be apart of you. Not even
fear. And fear is what you all were experiencing the
moment you saw hell. Fear can only make things worse.
Remember, Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not
be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you.
I will help you. I will uphold you with my victorious
right hand.
Isaiah 41:10..
And off he went.. LG. fOR tHE lOVE oF GOD...



Scripture quotations taken from The Gideons
International, 2000 Holy Bible. All rights reserved.
Copyright © 2007 Anthony L. Kelly Sr. All rights
reserved

Anthony L. Kelly Sr.
anthony.l.kelly@us.army.mil
http://www.myspace.com/hrcobra

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