Blue Drawers "Blues"
By Anthony L. Kelly Sr.
Jimmy Bumpkin had just started his new job as an
office Do boy at a local insurance agency. Jimmy
was so proud to be a Do boy. Everyone in his
family was proud of him too. He had gotten his
first job when he was 27 years old;
unfortunately his first employer had to let him
go because he kept burning the burgers. He'd
gotten fired from his second job because he
couldn't figure out how to operate the gas
nozzle, but this job was going to be different.
The few tasks he had to perform were, take out
the trash, make sure the staplers stay full, and
a couple other inferior duties.
When Jimmy first started the job he immediately
noticed the secretary. She was a beautiful young
thing that was full of energy and spunk. It was
love at first sight, for Jimmy that is.
One morning Jimmy's mother was getting his
clothes together, when she ran across a pair of
holey blue underwear.
"Jimmy, why do you still have these old holey
underwear?" she hollered. "Momma leave ma
drawers alone now!" said Jimmy in a loud voice.
"Those are my lucky drawers, and I'm wearing
them to work so I can get a hot date."
"Now you know I done told you about wearing them
holey ass drawers. What if you fall out or
something?"
"Momma, I done told you one time, now leave ma
drawers alone."
Jimmy snatched his favorite pair of underwear
from his mother, and insisted that he would be
wearing the underwear no matter what.
The next day, he stepped into work looking
sharper than ever. His mother had pressed his
uniform and braided his hair. He was also
wearing his holey blue pair of underwear. Jimmy
just knew that he was sure to get a date with
the hot secretary. The whole day nearly went by
before Jimmy had built up enough courage to ask
the young lady out.
After he had nearly swept the entire office, he
headed over to her desk to sweep. It was the
perfect opportunity to ask her on a date. Jimmy
wasn't a bad looking guy, and the secretary had
been noticing him also; so when she saw that
Jimmy was approaching her she waited to oblige
him in conversation.
Jimmy was so proud of himself. It would be the
second date of his life and he thought that he
was ready; but as he got closer to the girl's
desk, butterflies in his stomach suddenly began
to move about in the most uncomfortable way.
Jimmy began to slow down, for his stomach was
really acting up. To save himself from
embarrassment, he quickly passed the girl's desk
and straight to the nearest restroom, which just
so happened to be the female's bathroom. He sat
down on the toilet and with all his might tried
to release what ever it was that was making his
stomach bubble. Nothing happened.
Then Jimmy remembered he and his twelve year old
friends had had a cheese eating contest four
days before he started the new job. Jimmy hadn't
gone to the bathroom in nearly a week. He
strained and grunted, but nothing happened.
Finally he decided to put all of his might into
pushing out what needed to be released. So he
pushed and pushed, and pushed some more, until
finally something happened.
"Ouch!"
Jimmy had popped a blood vessel in his left
testicle.
"Help!! Somebody help me!"
He'd managed to get out a small piece, but the
damage done to his self was definitely not worth
it.
Since the girl's bathroom was right behind the
hot secretary's desk, she was the first to come
to Jimmy's aid. She opened the bathroom door to
see Jimmy curled up holding his private area.
His holey blue drawers waved back and forth from
his ankles like a surrendering white flag as he
whimpered and squirmed on the floor like a
little girl.
Two weeks later Jimmy was back on the job. The
cute girl was still there, but Jimmy was too
embarrassed to even look in her direction. One
day the girl approached him and said, "I think
you're really cute, but you wear holey
underwear. And I just can't do that."
Jimmy simply put his head down and continued to
sweep in embarrassment. Jimmy had the Blue
Drawers "Blues."
Anthony L. Kelly Sr.
anthony.l.kelly@us.army.mil
http://www.myspace.com/hrcobra
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