The Three Times in Life
When People Act a Fool
(and the steps you can take to prevent it)

There are three times in a person’s life when everyone will experience a significant emotional response. These times are 1) when someone is born, 2) when someone is married, and 3) when someone dies. Now, each of these times are significant and traumatic individually However, I am amazed at how crazy people may become when each of these events occur.


As an attorney, here’s a few tips that I would like to share with you to hopefully make sure that everything is kept in its proper prospective.
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1) BIRTH
Wills! Wills!! Wills!! Did I say will???? A will is a legal document that directs a court and the family on how your assets should be distributed when you pass. I’m thoroughly amazed by the number of fights that you see purely because someone didn’t think to address how their assets will be distributed when they pass. Can I say JAMES BROWN??? When a new life comes into this world (and the lift is your offspring), be smart and make sure that you document whether that child will (or will not) share in your assets upon your passing.

Don't run away but I have to share with you two little words that invoke MAJOR fear in deadbeat parents everywhere “CHILD SUPPORT”. Every now and then, I hear about parents who work out ‘arrangements’ to go around the child support issue. Every state is a little different, but a simple verbal contract of “I’ll pay your car note and get the baby school clothes” if you don’t go to court for child support may not be enough. If you commit the arrangement to writing, this may be in your favor to demonstrate to the courts of your ‘good faith’ attempt to reach an agreement without involving the courts may be considered. Again, as I say, every court in every state is different.

Just remember, when a new life comes into this world, a whole new set of responsibilities come with it. Be smart and think it through.

2) THE WEDDING
“I DO”! You surely did. This joyous occasion is now upon you. The flowers, the cake, the church, the catering, and it’s all beautiful. It can be more beautiful if you have ‘deep pockets’, a wedding coordinator, and family and friends who there to help you through the process.

Unfortunately, weddings never go quite down. More and more couples today are planning their own weddings and let me be the first to tell you that this is a nightmare in the making. You have to hire a dj, caterer, church, coordinator, and florist. You have to make hotel accommodations for the family. You have to take care of paying for the decorations and reception hall. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!

All I can say is one word!! CONTRACTS!! CONTRACTS!! CONTRACTS!! Don’t get so caught up in the glow that you overlook the contracts. You will probably sign more contracts during preparation for a wedding than when you buy a house. Pay close attention to the words of those contracts. SOMEONE is going to breach (i.e. break) those contracts. Don’t get so caught up in the glow of the contract that you overlook the small print. If you ordered an ice sculpture but the small print of the contract gives the caterer the ability to decide if a sculpture is not necessary, you can’t get mad if you don’t get it.

The joy of a wedding coordinator enables someone who is not as emotionally vested in putting on the event to keep a watchful eye on the particulars. The last thing you want is to have to sue the cake company for bringing you the wrong cake or the limo company for bringing the wrong limo (but be ready to do so if they do).

Did I mention about a pre-nup?? We will save that discussion for another day. Just remember to have that discussion with your lovely significant other WELL in advance of your wedding day.

3) DEATH
This time is clearly the most traumatic and the most colorful. It’s AMAZING how people will clown when someone passes. Also, the most trivial item (at least in your mind) because the focus of a major fight. Your grandfather’s blue pullover shirt that doesn’t even fit, is faded, and definitely out of style was meant for you. Then BOOM, it’s on!!!
Let’s not even start at the point AFTER the funeral. Let’s talk about before. Who’s paying for the funeral?? What’s the deceased going to wear?? Where are they going to be buried??? Who’s going to pay for the funeral????

Well, to save your family from a knock down drag out which can result in family members not talking to each other for years, have those taken care of early. Take care of getting burial insurance and life insurance policies. Make sure you designate a family member who will know where the policies are located and where the deposit box is located. Ask what funeral home will take care of the remains. Ask where the burial plot is. Ask those questions.

Then, after the burial, that’s when things get ugly quick. PLEEEEEEEEASE have a will and an executor of your will designated. Why?? You may not believe this but stop RIGHT now and look at what you have. Your first response is nothing. Ok, do you have a car?? Do you have furniture?? Do you have a house?? Do you have a pension? Do you have checking and saving accounts? Do you have jewelry? Do you have clothes?? Now, ask yourself that question again.

You have to think about this because when you die without a will, you leave it up to the courts to determine who gets what and let me tell you, it can get messy.

I have always been a firm believer that people tend to show their true colors in moments of great joy and sorrow. Most of the things I’ve talked about can be handled by talking to an attorney and / or some good preparation. Pay attention to your documentations. Keep an account of everything. And above all, remember this: God always helps those who help themselves but in moments of great emotion, it’s amazing how fast people become ungodly.

Anthony Reeves, Esq. can be reached reeves@anthonyreeves.com
 
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