I PETER 3:16 – “And keep your conscience clear, so that, when you are
Abused, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame.”

For SEVEN (7) years I loved a man I called my husband. For seven years I loved my husband unconditionally. For seven years I allowed myself to be the wife the Bible say I am suppose to be. You know, the wife who submits
to her husband, honor him, respect him, listen to him, obey him and follow him as he follows Christ, by any means necessary, in the Name of Jesus.

COLOSSIANS 3:18 - “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.”

For seven years I was the target of a GENERATIONAL CURSE, unbridled ANGER, an UNFORGIVING PAST, a HARDEN HEART, of HABITUAL LIES and BAD HABITS, with no way out. For seven years I called my husband the lover of my life, my provider, my protector, my everything. For seven years, for seven years, for seven years; behind closed does and secret walls, the enemy (satan/the devil) tried to cause me to lose my mind, take control of my thoughts, and lose sight of my Heavenly Father. “Oh, what is his name?” “I thought you’d never ask.” Let’s just call him, my Wretched Man. For SIX (6) of those years, my Wretched Man abused me emotionally, verbally, mentally and
physically.

ROMANS 7:24 (KJV) “O WRETCHED MAN that I am! Who shall deliver me from the body of this death?”

There were times when I was beaten so badly, I couldn’t talk, I couldn’t walk; I couldn’t even see the bright of day. Twice, I had to get stitches from being stabbed first in foot (11-stitches); another time in my thigh
(8-stitches). One time my eyes were so blood shot red, that I thought I would never see the whites again. When I did see the whites, I ran, jumped and shouted for joy to Jesus, Hallelujah!

2 CORINTHIANS 4:8-9 (NLT) 8- “We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed and broken. We are perplexed, but we don't give up and quit.” 9-“We are hunted down, but God never abandons us. We get knocked down, but we get up again and keep going.”

Simple scriptures began to confuse me. You know, the ones concerning a husband and a wife. Maybe my Wretched Man was never taught those scriptures that meant the most concerning God’s covenant of marriage, in Jesus name.

COLOSSIANS 3:19 – “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.”

I probably could have understood Wretched Man’s behavior, if he was still of the world; or why at least once a year he would physically attack me, and at times emotionally hurt me, or just be mean to me because he could; but my
husband was an Elder, from the House of God; a well known House of God, as a matter of fact. There is more.

ROMANS 12:2 (KJV) - “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”

A Man of the Cloth; a Holy Man; a Man of High Standards, supposedly; a Man of God; a Man who taught the word himself and prayed for others, daily. And to add insult to hurt, my Wretched Man prayed without seize. I would just
look at him and think to myself; because I dare not say it out loud; “I wonder what really happened to him?!!!” Wretched Man was really convinced that he was right in ALL his wrong doings, and he was a master in flipping,
twisting and turning the scriptures to fit his actions.

PROVERBS 16:25 (AMP) "There is a way that seems right to a Man and appears straight before him, but at the end of it is the way of death. PROVERBS 28:26 (KJV) “He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool: but whoso walketh wisely, he shall be delivered.”

Oh my God, what a big disappointment it was for me. Out of all the years of dating so-called Saved and Un-Saved brothers, the one relationship that should have been the greatest of them all, ended up being the absolute worst
of them all. I pray there not be another relationship labeled ‘WORST of them ALL’ in my life. I even began to wonder if the Father, the Son (Jesus) and the Holy Ghost (Spirit) were shocked and disappointed, too. It seemed
no matter how hard I prayed in Jesus name, how much I fasted, how much I hoped, or even how much I studied the Word of God; my marriage and my relationship with my husband had become very ugly, in God’s sight, and I
didn’t know what to do. I was so confused, ashamed and afraid to tell anyone, and going to the Police was out the question. Since Wretched Man was an ordained Elder, and Pastor of our home, I had no one to turn to, and
I had already been isolated from my family and friends…

EPHESIANS 5:25 & 33(NIV) 25-“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” 33–“However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

“Why is the man, who promised to love me, till death do us part, hurting me? Why did it seem that the man who said he loved me was trying to kill me? Why was my Wretched Man abusing me?” is what I would cry out to my Father in Heaven. “I don’t understand!” It got so bad, that when I realized the marriage had to come to an end, I prayed that Wretched Man would lie down and die in his sleep, because killing him was not an option. You see, I do
want to go to Heaven, and I don’t want to be there for just a little while.
I want to be there for a Lifetime. “Hallelujah!!!”

ROMANS 12:17 (NIV) “Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable.”

I really tried hard to keep my marriage together, including counseling, but my Wretched Man refused to go. He would tell me that God was going to deliver him; that he didn’t need help from no man; that the Holy Spirit will
do it. He didn’t want other folks in his business, because he didn’t trust anyone.

1 JOHN 2:27 (KJV) “But the anointing which ye have received of him abideth in you, and ye need not that any man teach you: but as the same anointing teacheth you of all things, and is truth, and is no lie, and even as it hath taught you, ye shall abide in him.”

“I don’t want to put myself out there in the open, like that,” he would explain. I believe it was because he carried a generational demon that was striving desperately not to be exposed. I even tried reading books on the
power of prayer as it relates to Marriages and Relationships.

JAMES 5:14 (KJV) “Is any sick among you? Let him call for the ELDERS of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord.”

Some of the books my Wretched Man bought for me; such as Stormie Omartian’s, “Power of a Praying Wife” and “Power of a Praying Husband”, were great in testimonies, but nothing changed. ‘Scriptures passed me by like a feather floating through the sky, till I could see them no more.’ No matter how much material Wretched Man purchased for us; I read, studied and read some more; the abuse just kept coming and coming, like the Energizer Bunny, ”It just kept going and going!”, and my Wrenched Man stayed the same.

EPHESIANS 5:33 (AMP) “However, let each man of you (without exception) love his wife (being in a sense) his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband--that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers
him, venerates and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him and loves and admires him exceedingly"

Sometimes my Wrenched Man would defend his actions, while feeling sorry for himself, with his head on my lap, crying out loud, “My grandfather abused my grand mother! My father abused my mother! It’s a generational curse! I can’t help myself! I need help!” he would cry. “I don’t want to be like my father!”

ISAIAH 10:27 (KJV) “And it shall come to pass in that day, that his burden shall be taken away from off thy shoulder, and his yoke from off thy neck, and the yoke shall be destroyed because of the anointing.”

And once again, like a fool, I would trust him, “Just one more time”, I would tell myself, “Just one more time”. He would always cry at the hospital Emergency, where I received stitches, from the cuts, after one of his many attacks on me.

EPHESIANS 5:28 (NIV) “In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.”

Just like all the other times, again, feeling sorry for him, using the Bible as an excuse to get his way with me, I stayed with my Wretched Man. I wanted to believe my marriage could work, according to the scriptures.

PHILIPPIANS 4:13 (KJV) “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”

When Wretched Man’s temper boiled over, and he snapped, all the Bible Word he knew would go up in smoke. Time and time again, he would justify his actions by taking the scriptures to fit his anger; flipping and manipulating
every word. The funny thing is, he was so busy covering up his sin; hiding the demon within from man; that he forgot God sees ALL and knows ALL, which included what he was doing to me, behind closed doors.

PROVERBS 21:2 (MSG) “We justify our actions by appearances; God examines our motives.” LUKE 16:15 (KJV) “And he said unto them, Ye are they which justify yourselves before men; but God knoweth your hearts: for that which is highly esteemed among men is abomination in the sight of God.”

Just before the FINAL CALL – 2001, the week before Christmas, my Wretched Man slammed me into a Freezer Door, in a Grocery Store. I was so afraid he was going to do more to me when we got home, that I called the Police, from
the grocery store pay phone. He was still threatening me when the police showed up. He left for fear of going to jail. The police took me to a SHELTER for Abused and Battered Women. This was the first time I ever left and stayed gone for more than five days. Normally, I would just sneak out, when I felt in the spirit he was going to hurt me, park in a grocery store parking lot, sleep in my son’s pick-up truck, only for one night, then go back.

(NOTE: I’ll tell you what happened at the Shelter in the next issue)

And when DIVORCE became my only way out; when it seemed that all hope was lost; I knew it was time to exit the marriage; a relationship which had become bad for the both of us. The only words I could hear, ringing in my head were “Kill or be killed!” And when it became a constant struggle just trying to stay alive, you now know that, “My Wretched Man did not change.”

2 Corinthians 4:6-11 (MSG) “Remember, our Message is not about ourselves; we're proclaiming Jesus Christ, the Master. All we are is messengers, errand runners from Jesus for you. It started when God said, "Light up the darkness!" and our lives filled up with light as we saw and understood God in the face of Christ, all bright and beautiful.” “TO BE CONTINUED”
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REFERENCES:
(1) HOLY BIBLE PASSAGES; Website @ http://www.bible.com; See Translations of King James Version (KJV), The New International Version (NIV), The Amplified Version (AMP) and The Message Version (MSG) (2) Naples Shelter for Abused Women & Children website @ http://www.naplesshelter.org/index.htm or 24 Hour Crisis Line (239) 775-1101
(3) Stormie Omartian’s books @ “Power of a Praying Wife” and “Power of a Praying Husband”
Website @ http://www.christianbook.com
(4) SURVIVING ABUSE by Lisa Brock - Article: Physical and Verbal Abuse;
Website @ http://www.TroubledWith.com is a service of Focus on the Family Website @ http://www.family.org
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NAPLES SHELTER FOR ABUSED WOMEN & CHILDREN
Website @ http://www.naplesshelter.org/index.htm
24 Hour Crisis Line (239) 775-1101

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS A CRIME - Domestic violence is a pattern of controlling behaviors that may include physical, sexual, or emotional abuse. The violence can cause severe physical and emotional harm to adults and children. If your spouse, life partner, boyfriend, girlfriend, family member, someone you have a child with, or someone you have lived with attacks you in any unwanted way, you are involved in domestic violence.

WORDS OF CAUTION - The most dangerous time for a victim of domestic violence is when she terminates or threatens to end the relationship. It may be difficult for her to leave safely.

SOME EXAMPLES OF ABUSE ARE: Kicks, pushes, hits, slaps, or other types of physical attacks; Curses, yells, or calls you names; Threatens to kill you, someone you love, or a pet; Forces you to have sex; Threatens your job security; Threatens to report you to the police; Threatens to have you deported; Threatens to take your children; Not allowing you to see friends
or family; Not allowing you to take birth control; Not allowing you to get medical help or social services; Controls all or most of the money; Possessive or extremely jealous; Misrepresents you to important persons in your life.
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SURVIVING ABUSE by Lisa Brock - Article: Physical and Verbal Abuse;
Website @ http://www.TroubledWith.com - A Service of Focus on the Family
Website @ http://www.family.org

Many people believe domestic violence only happens to certain types of people. But physical and verbal abuse in the home exist in every racial, religious and socioeconomic group in the United States. If you are a victim — or you know someone who is — take the following steps to stop the violence.
(1) REALIZE IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT.
(2) TELL SOMEONE ABOUT YOUR PROBLEM.
(3) GET OUT OF THE ABUSIVE SITUATION.
(4) GET HELP FOR YOURSELF.
(5) IF YOU HAVE THEM, GET HELP FOR YOUR CHILDREN
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CONTACT INFORMATION:
Deborah Gibson-Westbrook aka "DaSunshine"
IMDB: http://imdb.com/name/nm0316934/resume
DFW Actors: http://www.dfwactors.com/358.htm
Producer/Director/Creator/Choreographer "Talent in the Hood TV”
“TALENT in the HOOD TV”- F.U.T.U.R.E. Productions
300 East South Street, Suite 235 – Arlington, Texas 76004
Website: http://www.webspawner.com/users/tith1tv/index.html
(1) Independent Movie Actors Space
MY SPACE URL http://www.myspace.com/dag_sunshine
Email: jesusfinalscore@yahoo.com
(817) 269-6380/CL, (817) 684-8391/MS, (310) 492-9127/LA, CA
(2) Contributing WRITER SJBC Koinonia Magazine
Article "ABUSE IN THE KINGDOM"
St. John Baptist Church of Grand Prairie, TX
Website info http://www.sjbcfamily.com/SJBC_Magazine9.pdf
(3) PRODUCER-Director-Choreographer: "Talent in the Hood TV”
Website info http://www.webspawner.com/users/tith1tv/index.html
(4) PRODUCER: Dr. Sheron Patterson "LOVE CLINIC"
Website info http://www.theloveclinic.com
(5) JULY/2001: Deborah A. Gibson was selected to represent Dallas, TX
(#8 City) for Black Enterprise Magazine Issue [10 BEST CITIES for
African American Entrepreneurs] Page 79:
Web @ http://www.blackenterprise.com OR GET FULL STORY AT
http://www.blackenterprise.com/ArchiveOpen.asp\?Source=ArchiveTab/2001/07/0701-45.htm&p=5